The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

Table of Contents

• The Domestication of the Human
• 1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
• 2. Don't Take Anything Personally
• 3. Don't Make Assumptions
• 4. Always Do Your Best
• Breaking Old Agreements

The Domestication of the Human

Don Miguel Ruiz, drawing on Toltec wisdom, explains that we live in a "dream"—a collective illusion created by society. From the moment we are born, we are "domesticated" by our parents, schools, and religion. We are taught how to behave, what to believe, and what is "good" or "bad."

We make "agreements" with ourselves based on this domestication. We agree that "I am not good enough," "I must be perfect," "I must please others." These agreements rob us of our personal power and create suffering. To find freedom, we must break these old agreements and adopt four new, powerful ones.

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

The First Agreement is the most important and the most difficult. "Impeccable" comes from the Latin pecatus (sin) and the prefix im (without). So, impeccable means "without sin." A sin is anything you do that goes against yourself.

Being impeccable with your word means not using your word against yourself. It means speaking with integrity. It means avoiding gossip (which Ruiz calls "black magic"). It means not judging yourself or others.

Your word is a creative force. It can create heaven or hell. When you tell yourself "I'm fat and ugly," you are using your word to create a personal hell. When you tell someone "I believe in you," you are creating a blessing.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally

The Second Agreement provides immunity in the interaction with others. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.

If someone calls you stupid, it's not about you; it's about them. They are dealing with their own feelings, beliefs, and judgments. If you take it personally, you agree with their poison and make it your own.

When you stop taking things personally, you can walk through the world with an open heart and no one can hurt you. You don't need to trust others; you only need to trust yourself to make the right choices.

3. Don't Make Assumptions

The Third Agreement is about communication. We have a tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem is that we believe they are the truth. We assume we know what others are thinking. We assume others know what we want.

For example, in relationships, we assume "If he loves me, he should know what I want." When he doesn't do it, we feel hurt and say, "You should have known."

The antidote to assumptions is asking questions. Have the courage to ask for clarification. Have the courage to express what you really want. Communicate clearly. This one agreement can transform your relationships.

4. Always Do Your Best

The Fourth Agreement allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits. Always do your best.

But realize that "your best" is not a static standard. It changes from moment to moment. Your best when you are healthy and rested is different from your best when you are sick or tired. Your best in the morning is different from your best at night.

Don't demand perfection. Just do your best in this moment. If you do your best, you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. If you break an agreement, don't beat yourself up. Just start again. Do your best again.

Breaking Old Agreements

Ruiz compares the human mind to a foggy mirror (the mitote). We can't see who we really are because of the fog of beliefs and agreements. The Four Agreements are a tool to clean the mirror.

By practicing these agreements, you declare war on the parasite of the mind (the Judge and the Victim). You reclaim your personal power and begin to live in a new dream—a dream of heaven on earth.